My Son, The Shameless Flirt

I’ve mentioned before that C’s resting face is pretty stoic. He kind of takes everything in. Its a look he’s had from day one: eyes focused, mouth closed, intently staring at the most interesting thing in the room. There is a sort of wisdom to how he looks at the world (at least I think so, but I’m biased). Lately that steely gaze has been interrupted more and more often by some tiny smiles. I say “tiny” only because he’s such a small guy, but those smiles have power beyond his wee face.

Now before we go any further— I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with his smile. Quite the opposite actually, its a great smile. But he’s picky about who he gives it to, picky in a pretty gendered way. I get some pretty big grins, but I’m dad, its only natural. Other men might warrant a smirk. Any random woman makes eye contact with him and, BOOM, out comes the charm. My son is a shameless flirt. Literally, he has no shame, has no idea what shame is. Part me wants to give him a high-five, to pump a heteronormative fist in the air. Right on C, starting out early. Thankfully the rest of me catches up quickly and I avoid an embarrassing moment. But the tension is there. Today he is as innocent as can be, his smiles are smiles in the truest sense. He has moved past basic mimicry and I get the sense that his smiles are in response to some sense of shared humanity (as much as a baby can do that sort of thing). How long can that innocent smile last? Certainly for quite some time, and hopefully for a lifetime. Will I need to encourage him to be a bit more fair with his smiles? What can I do to help him out?

The world is not such a good place to grow up in if you want to avoid objectifying other people, if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with shame, with human attraction, with innocence. Its certainly a bit early to start worrying about most of this stuff. We’re doing the best we can, and he’s going to be who he going to be. But I know that I will be implicated in his becoming, in how he learns to treat people. That’s heavy. For now I’m just going to keep trying to get him to smile. Because its a pretty fun thing to do.